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What’s This About
Etiquette for men today is mostly about consideration: dressing for the occasion, arriving well groomed and behaving so that the people around you feel comfortable.
This guide covers the presentation side of etiquette, such as:
reading the dress code on an invitation
grooming and wardrobe care that people notice
jackets, hats and other details with long-standing conventions
dress at weddings, places of worship and funerals
dress customs to check before you travel
and many more!
For workplace conduct such as introductions, meetings and email, see our separate business etiquette guide.
Key Points
01Follow the dress code on the invitation, and when you are unsure, dressing slightly too formally is safer than dressing too casually.
02Neat, clean and pressed matters more than expensive: clothes without creases or missing buttons, polished shoes, tidy hair and nails, and a light hand with fragrance.
03Take your hat off indoors in homes, offices, restaurants and places of worship unless a head covering is expected there.
04Places of worship and some homes abroad have their own dress customs, such as covering your head or removing your shoes, so check before you go.
Etiquette is often thought of as a list of old rules about cutlery and titles, but most of it comes down to one idea: showing the people around you that you have thought about them.
How you dress and present yourself is the first place people see that consideration, before you have said a word.
This guide concentrates on that presentation side of etiquette; workplace conduct is covered in our guide to business etiquette for men.
What Etiquette Means Today
Manners are specific habits, such as saying thank you or standing to greet someone, while etiquette is the wider set of expectations behind them.
Today’s etiquette is less about proving you know the rules and more about putting others at ease.
Three habits sit underneath most of it:
Notice the setting: look at how formal the occasion and the other guests are before you decide how to dress and behave
Think of other people’s comfort: arrive on time, give people your attention and avoid drawing attention to their mistakes
Stay composed: if you are unsure of a custom, watch what others do or ask quietly rather than guessing
Reading the Dress Code
The invitation is your first guide, because the host has already told you how formal the occasion will be.
As Debrett’s puts it, it is preferable to look over-dressed rather than under-dressed, so when you are unsure, choose the more formal option.
The most common codes on invitations ask for:
Scroll horizontally to see all columns →
| Dress code | What it usually means for men | Our guide |
|---|---|---|
| White tie | Evening tailcoat, white waistcoat and white bow tie | White tie |
| Black tie | Dinner jacket, dress shirt and black bow tie | Black tie |
| Morning dress | Morning coat for formal daytime events such as some weddings and race meetings | Morning suit |
| Cocktail or semi-formal | A dark suit, usually with a tie | Cocktail attire and semi-formal attire |
| Lounge suit or business | A dark or grey suit, collar and tie, and polished shoes | Formal attire |
| Smart casual | A jacket with chinos or tailored trousers, with or without a tie | Smart casual |
If the invitation gives no dress code, think about the time of day, the venue and the host; when you still cannot tell, ask the host, which is always better than guessing.
Grooming and Wardrobe Care
The Emily Post Institute sums up good grooming in two words, neat and clean, and that standard costs far less than an expensive outfit.
Hair and facial hair: keep a regular trimming routine, and shave or tidy your beard before any event
Hands: keep your nails short and clean
Fragrance: apply it sparingly; if people can still smell it after you have left the room, you have used too much
Clothes: check for creases, lint, stains, loose threads and missing buttons before you leave
Shoes: polish them regularly and replace worn heels before they look tired
A pressed shirt and polished shoes with an ordinary suit make a better impression than a costly suit worn creased.
Jackets, Hats and Other Details
A few dress details carry conventions that people still notice.
Jackets
Fasten a single-breasted jacket when you stand and unfasten it when you sit, and leave the bottom button of a two- or three-button jacket undone; our guide to business professional attire explains this and other detail conventions.
At a formal dinner or meeting, a common convention is to keep your jacket on until the host takes off theirs or invites you to remove it.
Hats
The Emily Post Institute’s hat guide says men can keep their hats on outdoors, in lobbies, lifts, airports and on public transport.
The same guide says to take them off, baseball caps included, in other people’s homes, at the table, when being introduced, in offices and restaurants, at indoor performances and in places of worship unless a head covering is required there.
Phones and Headphones
Put your phone away and take headphones off when you are talking to someone, eating with others or attending a ceremony; at a formal event, a phone in your hand undoes the effort you put into dressing.
Business Settings in Brief
At work, presentation and conduct go together: dress to your employer’s dress code, arrive on time, introduce people clearly and give meetings your full attention.
Our guide to business etiquette for men sets these out as 25 practical rules, and our guide to business attire covers what to wear.
On video calls, dress as you would for the same meeting in person, at least from the waist up, and check your background and lighting before you join.
Weddings
The Emily Post Institute’s guide to wedding guest attire treats the invitation and the time of the ceremony as your best guide to how formal to dress.
Where no dress code is given, a jacket and trousers suit a daytime wedding and a dark suit suits most evening weddings, and black tie is only expected when the invitation says so.
Dress so that attention stays on the couple, and follow any religious or cultural requests on the invitation.
Places of Worship
Dress customs differ between faiths and between individual congregations, so the safest course is to check with your host or the place of worship before you go.
The examples below come from the visitor guidance of individual places of worship, and they show the kind of customs to ask about:
Synagogues: one synagogue’s visitor guide asks all men to wear a kippah (skullcap) inside and lends them at the door, and describes men as usually wearing a suit or jacket
Gurdwaras: the Tampa Gurdwara’s guidance asks visitors to cover their heads and remove their shoes, and asks for full-length trousers rather than shorts, and provides head coverings at the entrance, though you can bring your own scarf
Mosques: the visitor code of one mosque asks visitors to remove their shoes at the door and men to wear long trousers rather than shorts, and the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque asks men to avoid transparent, tight or sleeveless tops
Churches and cathedrals: some publish their own visitor dress rules, so check the site’s page before a visit, especially when travelling
When you remove your shoes, clean socks without holes matter, so choose your socks with the same care as the rest of the outfit.
At a religious ceremony you are unfamiliar with, follow the congregation’s lead on standing and sitting, and sit quietly through any ritual you are unsure about joining.
Funerals
At a funeral, the aim is to dress respectfully and quietly so that attention stays on the family.
In Britain and many Western countries that usually means a dark suit, such as black, charcoal or navy, with a white shirt, a plain dark tie and polished black shoes, unless the family asks for something different.
Some families request colours or a particular style, and some faiths and cultures have their own mourning colours, so follow any instructions in the funeral notice.
Our guide to what to wear to a funeral covers each garment, accessories and weather in detail.
Dress Customs When You Travel
Before you travel, check the dress customs of the places you plan to visit, especially religious sites and private homes.
In Japan, for example, the Japan National Tourism Organization explains that shoes are taken off at the entrance of homes and many traditional buildings, with slippers provided, and that slippers are removed on tatami mats; shoes that slip on and off easily make this simpler.
The same guide notes that swimwear is generally not worn in traditional hot springs, apart from some mixed baths that provide a bathing garment.
Conclusion
Good etiquette in how you dress comes down to following the host’s dress code, arriving neat and clean, and respecting the customs of the place you are in.
When you are unsure, ask the host or dress a little more formally, which is rarely a mistake.
Styling Beyond Etiquette
If you would like to take your presentation further, these quizzes and services may help.
1. Find Your Body Shape
Our body shape quiz for men describes your proportions, which you can use when choosing cuts and fits.
2. Find Your Seasonal Colours
Our seasonal colour quiz for men suggests a palette to find the colours that suit you.
3. Find Your Fashion Style
Our fashion style quiz for men suggests a personal fashion style with outfit ideas to explore.
Our styling services for men are paid consultations; the shop page lists what each one includes.
You can also read about The VOU’s image consultants and stylists.
Mandy Meyer’s focus at The VOU is men’s body-shape styling, garment fit and outfit proportions. Her coverage addresses the practical questions behind a wardrobe choice: how a jacket sits across the shoulders, how trousers fall and how different cuts change the silhouette a wearer wants to create.
Her subject areas include the triangle, inverted triangle, rectangle, oval, trapezoid, hourglass and diamond labels used in body-shape styling. These provide starting references for comparing visible proportions; they do not capture every body or prescribe one correct way to dress. The focus connects those observations with garment shape, construction, length and the relationship between the upper and lower parts of an outfit.
Mandy’s editorial coverage combines visual comparisons with fit checks for comfort and movement. Readers can consider whether a cut gives them the room they need, where clothing pulls or gathers and which changes might support their preferred look. The aim is to make menswear choices more understandable while keeping personal preferences and the wearer’s own styling goals central.